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I just saw a guy walking with two girls,
I aint gonna lie,
On a summer (ish) evening, in the twilight, summer wears on, and just that atmospheric niceness as well the whole scene of one of the girls is feeling his game and her friend is tagging along to poorly disguise the fact that she likes him… Even tho they went out of their way to see him… Then wait outside his house for 10 mins
(U can tell I watched this play out for a minute… Or 10 lol – what da heck I had some time to kill before going to my destination to which I was gonna be very early).
I begun to flashback on the days when there was a much lower threshold of Jesus in me and I had MAD game and moving to girls became a area I just wanted to push limits and go for the ‘ungettable girls’.
For less than a split second it looked so appealing! Then the memory took me back to the place where I was searching desperately for purpose, vision and motivation for life (the typical life of the lost young man).
I thank You Lord for purpose and direction in my life Lord,
I love You for just You being You and not for the awesome things You have done for me and are going to do for me.
Thank You for bringing me from where I came from and where You’re taking me,
Just wanted to openly share my love for You God,
Hallelujah!
Single Christian Bro
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…All Regina King and Kerry Washington need is to be younger (not that you can actually see their age), become a little more low profile and of course need a lot more ‘Jesus’ in their systems.
Actually on second thoughts their profile gives them more voice, power and influence in the Kingdom of the world to glorify God and lead more souls to Christ so scratch that, that’s a word for someone!
Anywho,
Just watched the movie Ray and was actually surprised as to how many of his hits I knew!
What really struck me was the fact that his wife knew so many of his misdemeanours; heroin, cheating and disregard for her words of concern, but stuck with him and really tried to do the best by him.
The two supporting actresses; Regina King and Kerry Washington actually stopped being attractive because of their physical beauty but in their heart to stand by Ray (well ‘Margie’ – Regina King – actually left but not after offering her heart and commitment on a plate, see film for full story… And not a bootleg or online version- buy legit! Anywho…).
What really made Kerry Washington (who play Ray’s wife ‘Bee’) was her long standing and long suffering commitment and decision, even to try and minister to her wayward husband.
This made me think; do women, or should I say girls of this day… And I’m talking about Christians here… Still nurture these qualities within themselves, have they determined and ingrained it into their mindsets that, your husbands may have some ridiculously rough edges BUT nevertheless you will stand by him!
They were married for well over 30 years, and for at least 20 years Ray was on Heroin! And cheating! (I don’t know how many years he was cheating tho) but what this brought to mind was…
Who will I walk the rest of my days on earth with?
Will they stand by me even if my rough edges bring you heartache for two decades?
Will I get some of what I call ‘Love from the old skool’ when commitment was unquestionable and divorce didn’t exist! Only death did them part! (Not murder as I heard one preacher quip… Lol).
I so look forward to ‘giving my life like Christ did for the church’ I look forward to the challenge of being the best possible husband to the wife of my youth… And being FULLY satisfied with the 80 and loving the 20 (google 80/20 rule if you confused by this point lol).
And some of you reading this might be asking ME the same questions from a woman’s perspective but I wouldn’t be so bold as to have these expectations without ‘counting the cost’ and preparing myself to do the same!
I have learnt that God expects me to fully love my wife at the 100% mark regardless of how she treats me… (Yeah I know right!) But God said it so firstly its more than possible and I am 100% more than able!
I feel like I’m just waffling now but all I really wanted to point out that even as beautiful as the women are what added to their beauty in gigantic amounts which even overshadowed their physical beauty was the heart of commitment and adoration for their husband.
These are good natures to develop in ones self
Shalom shalom!
Single Christian Bro
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Ok, so its been a month since I last mention ‘my lady of interest’
I will update you shortly on what has gone on,
Please allow me some of your patience
God bless
God has laid a vision in my heart…
I can’t disclose the vision cos it would tell you who I am but I can say that part of the assignment requires my being available fully for HIS cause for two years.
This is where I have a dilema;
I can choose to enter this relationship or I can pursue this vision!
The requirement of attention, energy and commitment- even in the locale of what I need to do for either clash, time wise, commitment wise and ‘mind space’ wise.
My preference will always be the kingdom of God and what my Father requires from me but I can’t help but seeking God on a possible way of making it work.
[The word of the Lord says; "(God speaking) reason with me"]
I see her at church weekly and guys you will not believe how beautiful she is to me!
She is my friend so I already most of what I don’t like about her and what will and does annoy me, but that’s overshadowed by the good.
I just want excuses to stair at her, and to make matters worse; she always manages to sit in the line of my sight.
To be completely honest I HAVE chosen,
And I’m afraid it isn’t her… Actually I’m not afraid (God hasn’t given me a spirit of fear… Anywho)
Its always going to be the Kingdom of God,
I gotta talk to my Pastors about this one for some wise counsel 
She wants to talk to me about something later… I wonder what it is?
Will keep you up to date
Hope you’re blessed
Ok,
Here’s the situation;
Its suddenly hit me that I ‘really like this girl’ BUT she’s not ticked all the boxes I wanted ticked, but I find her mesmerising!
Let’s just get this straight from the beginning;
If you don’t love God to a point that He consumes almost your every thought to the degree in which it affects your life, actions, speech and I have seen you fight yourself because ‘what you FEEL to do contradicts the word of God AND you still chose God’s way’ – even though nobody will see but God!
- NON STARTER!!!
AND
If we ain’t friends…
NON STARTER!
Everything about her is gorgeous!
Her heart, her mind and how we click is just gorgeous!
She’s one of my good friends (I would never consider anyone who WASN’T my friend by the way).
The strangest thing is happening to me, when it comes to everyone else, I can advise them on ‘game’ and male/female psyche and deliver with clarity, when it comes to hooking myself up I feel like I’m falling apart! – I think I like her a lot!
But its a very sudden revelation to me, OK, I have been fighting the idea of me and her for weeks and have been winning but I think I just lost!
I feel like hitch! OMG I hope I don’t kick her in the head!!! (Must see film to get the joke).
I have run out of reasons why it shouldn’t happen or won’t work.
One of my close friends who is as sharp as I am when it comes to matters of the heart and this whole relationship thing said that she likes me but I’m still a little stuck as to what to do next,
Let’s get this straight from the get go;
I have prayed about it, I am at peace about it and about her
Sooo…
I guess I’ll have to talk to her (in that I mean place myself in the arena of vulnerability and let her know how much she means to me)… Maybe even ask her out…
I was just reading Genesis 18 and noticed some very interesting accounts of Abraham and Sarah dealt with each other,
At the moment when the Angels of God visited Abraham, (v1) firstly he recognised and honoured them respectfully EVEN though he was a man of much authority in his camp (having loads of servants, over 300 I think) and ‘bowed himself to the ground’
Then, Abraham offered refreshments, that his wife would have to cook, and dropped everything he was doing to go and make this happen.
We notice in v6 Abraham rushed back into the tent and said to Sarah “Quickly, make three measures of fine meal; knead it and make cakes”
(Another area with I loved was the fact that he offered the Angels bread and water AND THEN went and killed a ‘good, tender calf’ as well for them to eat, that’s what I call honour, anywho back to the point I was making)
At the point where Abraham rushed and almost demanded Sarah to start cooking and forget what you’re doing.
Now many women… And I’m talking about Christian women now (ones who are aspiring to marriage but haven’t quite counted the cost), would have a major problem with this; the whole idea of being at beck and call and submitting to the almost absolute authority of their husband isn’t something that sits well with them.
This is an area that has been distorted by the world, that kind of adhearence to your husband is scriptual it is a structure put in place by God and you not only dishonour your husband (which kills your favour shield) but it also dishonours God!
What is not often spoken about to bring balance is the sacrifice that the husband has to make in order to ‘EARN’ this authority and respect (please notice I said EARN, it isn’t an automatic switch in a woman’s head, men of God- you are to b men of substance and good purpose with a prayed into direction; this is how you will lead your family and have your wife know that you are actually leading the family someone, making it easier for her to follow you and your instructions)
As the Man of the house, you are to be the high priest of your household but at the same time DO EVERYTHING YOU POSSIBLY CAN TO MAKE AND KEEP YOUR WIFE HAVE,
Women have the anointing to add quantum multiplication to whatever you give them, give them a headache and they will give you the most serious migraine ever experienced!
Give a woman happiness and you, your children and your mother will be blessed!
But going back to v6, notice that Sarah listened with no ifs, buts or whatever’s – she jumped up and got to work!
She is even quoted to refer to her husband as ‘my lord’ which really displays how highly she thought of her husband.
Ladies, the more you ‘big up’ your husband (even when he’s in his season of being a complete toe-rag) the more of a man you’ll make him be and birth the drive for him to become the best husband, high priest AND man of God.
Character assassination of a man does just that, assassinates the man he ‘could’ be, unlike for women it drives then to become better, men do the opposite
When a man is made to feel bad, he gives up thinking- “you have already concluded that I’m a waste of space, so I’ll be just that”
Don’t ask me why, its how men and women differ, men need positive motivation, woman can be motivated by negative things, (that’s an area I’d like to research more before speaking on it)
A man will naturally bend over backwards to keep you happy and all you have to do is
RESPECT HIM (especially in public but all the time anyway)
LISTEN TO HIS REQUESTS
Now, I’m not saying don’t ask why, but still just do it!
So yeah, that’s it per say;
For you (ladies) respecting, honouring and obeying your husbands you create a ‘happiness factory’ for yourself, a mans imagination will hit no end in finding new ways to make you happy in every area of your life,
Just sow seeds of respect, honour, obedience and support his actions (sometimes even when you see them about to blow up in his face, don’t ride him if he’s adamant- support then softly counsel after- he will love you so much more for your graciousness )
For the seeds you sow you will be stupefied with the results you get!
For those unmarried folks, try it with your partners – watch your miracle take place (do remember there is ‘seed’… ‘TIME’ and harvest, its not always instant basically!)
Have an amazing relationship!
I just had the thought,
I know some girls who are ‘spiritual hotties’, their spirits are so beautiful that it actually overshadows any externals – which aren’t quite my style (the external look I mean).
The attraction to them is just the same as if I was attracted to their externals.
I am wise enough to know that I cannot go for someone that I am only attracted to their ‘spirit’ or ‘heart’ or personality alone, there has to be a healthy balance.. or one day we will have an argument, I will be introduced to the other side of their ‘spirit’ (loool) and ummm, if that face doesn’t endear to wanna make up I imagine we wont make it through many disagreements! -
We might not even make it to the falling in love bit that would rescue those situations… I know me well enough to say I would walk!
Men are just wired that way, I am in no way consenting to male shallowness but anyone with any wisdom will confirm that MEN ARE VISUALLY STIMULATED and need for their women to be ‘pleasing to THEIR eyes’ (not nec anyone else’s eyes by the way!)
Plus I listed to a teaching from Dr Creflo Dollar on ‘Wise Decisions – Finding A Mate’, it changed my whole world on dating and the whole world of ‘finding a spouse’ – and just to burst a bubble on Christians who are some some crazy talk of ‘God will find me my spouse’ or God will bring him/her to me and I will just know… that’s how you end up 50 years old and still single…
The word of God says ‘he who FINDS a wife, findeth a good thing and obtaineth favour’ (Proverbs 18:22)
the key words are ‘FIND’… that implies ‘LOOKING, SEARCHING FOR, PURSUING’
- and the other thing I need to point out is NOT EVERY GIRL IS A WIFE!!!!
Its a role that many girls need to renew their minds in that area… thats another reason why so many women are single, they havent really renewed their minds in the area of relationships, men and ‘how to be that GOOD THING’ in a marriage – I have come across so many broken women, ready to get married and unleased their toxic waste on that husband thinking he will tollerate it and stay forever!… some won’t and if pushed… most men REALLY won’t stay.
I do need to touch on this whole divorce thing quickly at this moment, the truth is God is not happy about divorce, He isn’t a supporter and ‘hates it’ with a passion.,
We, His children, managed to get ourselves branded ‘a stiff necked generation’ or how I like to put it ‘ a hard headed generation, not willing to FULLY renew our minds and trying to get away with the bare minimum of submission’.
God allowed divorce (through gritted teeth I imagine) only as a concession, not as an appointed function of marriage. There is no shadow of a doubt, the marriage ending leaves both parties ‘broken’ and does even worse damage to children – WHETHER IT SHOWS STRAIGHT AWAY OR NOT AND AT WHATEVER AGE!
At times there are no options BUT to separate, either because of abuse or adultery, but on that note; I heard of a Pastor in Africa who’s wife cheated on him with the worship leader and she actually got pregnant for the worship leader… the most incredible thing is that THEY DIDN’T DIVORCE, the pastor didn’t force the worship leader to leave AND looked after the child in his own house!!!
Some of you reading this might be thinking ‘if that was me I would be on the phone to a locksmith to change the lock as soon as the cheating heffer leaves my house’ and that guy can forget about leading worship anywhere in this city, cos I’m gonna tell ALL the other Pastors in the area!!! (I imagine if he was really feeling burnt he would actually phone a pastor he DIDN’T like and say “hey, my worship leader is leaving and he’s excellent, what about inviting him to your church this week, by the way does your wofe deal with the worship team?”)
Pastors are human too don’t forget, and not all of them live that fully sanctified life! – but hey, thats just my imagination running away with me… maybe I should write a film and shoot it on my blackberry loool.
That Pastor exercised forgiveness at such a great level and I bet you God honoured that in such a way!!!
I love that!!! – Christ HAS conquered all we could experience on earth! to the degree that we let that victory affect our lives!
Anywho, back to my spiritual hotties…
Ladies, if you are already attractive and no guys are approaching you, then maybe you are making yourself ‘spiritually unattractive’ – if a guy knows his word and prays and really spends time with the Lord, although you may catch his eye, the spirit within him may well repel him from you! (thats if your spirit isn’t as much a hottie as your ‘earth suit’).
And ladies, if you have been made to feel unattractive by others or more precisely by the enemy, but are spiritually gorgeous – change your hair, ‘go in’ on the make up, go shopping more, always smell great -
I once knew a girl who was always in a new outfit or remix outfits everytime I saw her (and I saw her at least twice a week) and when I asked her what her shopping bill was she said it was only about £5-£10 a week!
And she always looked gorg’, so many guys wanted her number (I had friend-zoned her by the way, she wasn’t saved)
There’s nothing ‘unbiblical’ about making yourself look nice, Esther got chosen as Queen cos she was not only beautiful (and well presented… hair, fragrance, make up, etc – but had substance that set her apart… she didn’t make it on having ‘substance’ alone, nor did she make it on being beautiful alone – it was one balanced and complete package;
Ladies prepare yourselves for your King, he has his eyes open but you WILL get skipped if you aren’t ‘ready’; spiritually, emotionally and externally! (or far enough along that he can see your potential and what’s in your heart)
be blessed,
hope you change your game for the better!!!
check me out on youtube, I will (as of today) be sharing clips and messages on dating, finding a mate, good tips and hints on relationship, understanding men, understanding women and all that good stuff!
search my email or just search for ‘Single Christian Bro’
Shalom!
OK,
Valentine’s day has now passed and I spent most of it ‘hating’ on all the happy couples thinking how many more will I have to pass these days having no one to do anything for, then I thought to myself,
this freedom is one of the sacrifices you make when you become ‘un-single/ engaged/ married’!
you can’t just let this day pass without ‘repercussions’ – that’ll will cause world war 3 right through to 7!.
AND just to rub it in your face all you ‘non-single’ friends are ‘busy’ then it dawned on me… I can get involved in this day!
I got a phone call… and before you all get carried away… it wasn’t a girl!
One of my ‘non-single’ friends asks a favour… I was asked to babysit while he took his Mrs out for a nice evening,
I obliged and then my purpose as a single person came to light, it was my time to be a blessing to those that don’t have the option to just gal avant without organising childcare (or consulting the Mrs more often) – its this very ‘gift’ (of freedom) that us single folk often take for granted,
Marriage aint just a ‘get your groove on the legit way’ license – there’s a heck of a lot more to it and I heard someone say their Pastor told them;
“Marriage can be the closest thing to heaven or hell”… I was in stitches but at the same time could just see both extremes… in the same marriage too!
So yeah, I was a babysitter… that experience was enough to make me reconsider the whole finding a spouse thing all by itself… munchkin was kinda hard to keep engaged, telly didn’t work, music went WAY over his head, some toys we had caught his attention for a little bit then the lil 4 year old whirlwind surprized me with a request to play ‘cbeebies’ games online… yeah I said it … 4 year old, playing games online.
anywho, that also bored him after a while but Mum and Dad came back to my resque (yaaaaaay… Haaaaaalllellluuuujaaaah)
I survived… in one piece too!
OK, now to find MY missus… lol – I want at least 2 whole years in baby free zone!
These lil tykes are expensive you know!
jheeeze
NOW… let’s get this straight from the beginning…
I dont call too many women hotties,
its not nearly enough for me to call a woman a hottie when she’s only attractive on externals… a bad storm (equals drenched weave… eauch!) and a bad fight with a crazy yardie woman (no offence) who likes to throw battery acid around can fix that… and very quickly too!
Beauty (in a woman anyway) must exude from the inside… it must be pouring out of her soul, she must be a ‘beautiful personality’, now just for clarities sake I am NOT saying she should be PERFECT!
That particular woman doesn’t exist!(while I’m awake anyway)
I have always said, if a girl doesn’t know God she wont know me… at all!
so… yeah beautiful things about attractive women (to me anyway);
- knows and loves God
- aims to be the best person she can possibly
- is driven to fulfil her God given purpose and become who she was meant want to be
- absolutely loves life and lives a thankful life
- is happy… just happy (I know I have a part to play, but i refuse to be the sole source!)
– eternal optimist!
- sense of humour
- can cook (or is willing to really learn)
– MICROWAVE MEALS AND OVEN ONLY MEALS DON’T COUNT!!!
(thank God that I can cook or this topic could be a desperate situation after we’ve walked down the aisle… lol
– and by the way, I think guys are severely lacking if they can’t do something presentable, and edible, in the kitchen)
- She has GOT to pray!!!
- ambition, ambition, ambition!!! (one of my convictions is that my wife will join me in my journey and my drive will be for her to fulfil all her dreams, she’s gotta have dreams to pursue)
- and we’ve just got to fit and get on, she’s gotta be my best friend!
I would NEVER go out with a girl I couldn’t be friends with, that’s just nonsense to me.
- and she has GOT to look good (to me!) – men are wired and designed by our heavenly Father to be visually stimulated (the porn industry is evidence of that, I believe 90% of the sites on the entire internet are adult websites!, need I say more?)
Not to say men are shallow, but I can’t go for a girl just cos ‘she’s nice on the inside, she’s gotta be nice on the outside too!’ – I know there are some ladies who wont agree (or wont want to agree) but its how men are built!, a man has to find ‘something’ attractive about his woman (we’ll go more into this on another post).
Oh yeah… getting back to topic… Yeah, I have come a cross a hottie… so now its time to ‘do my research’ – as I always and will always do, take time to just befriend and skip all the ‘best foot forward’ thing you find when someone knows your interested and I know some of you are thinking ‘you might get stuck in the FRIEND ZONE’ – you just gotta know how to cross the threshold from friendzone to more.
The best relationships, you will notice categorically and internationally, develop out of awesome friendships and the wholehearted commitment of both the man and the woman to be the best they can be for each other.
So yeah, the journey begins, I will give her a nickname soon.She is still a new face to the circle so I need to find out where she hangs around and what she does with herself, I’ve noticed she dresses well, which is a good sign – I often imagine I will be the ‘upgrader’ but its all good in this area.
Will let you know how it goes over the next few weeks, they will be make or break. I am guilty of falling in and out of like very quickly and I do just literally ‘cut and run’, unapologetically too.
I refuse to be blinded by ‘like’ and entertain traits that i see in people who aren’t willing to change that wont work with me, as much as I am prepared to work with and invest into a relationship, I aint got time to waste either – better still, I would rather be single than end up with some pumpkin head placebo of a girlfriend (again, no offence ).
and please don think I am treating singleness as a ‘disease’ I am trying to get rid of, I actually love my singleness and it empowers me to really go at the kingdom of God with all my heart, mind, energy and time – relationships are demanding in these areas and take time away from God.
My seeking a ‘mate’ or spouse to my understanding brings me to a new level of responsibility and accountability and will bring growth in myself that cannot happen otherwise of which I know will be detrimental to my achieving my God given purpose.
Trust me, I already asked God if I could do this thing without getting married, lets just say it was a short conversation and the search continued
stay holy folks, its rarity… even in the body!
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