I aint gonna lie,
On a summer (ish) evening, in the twilight, summer wears on, and just that atmospheric niceness as well the whole scene of one of the girls is feeling his game and her friend is tagging along to poorly disguise the fact that she likes him… Even tho they went out of their way to see him… Then wait outside his house for 10 mins

(U can tell I watched this play out for a minute… Or 10 lol – what da heck I had some time to kill before going to my destination to which I was gonna be very early).

I begun to flashback on the days when there was a much lower threshold of Jesus in me and I had MAD game and moving to girls became a area I just wanted to push limits and go for the ‘ungettable girls’.

For less than a split second it looked so appealing! Then the memory took me back to the place where I was searching desperately for purpose, vision and motivation for life (the typical life of the lost young man).

I thank You Lord for purpose and direction in my life Lord,

I love You for just You being You and not for the awesome things You have done for me and are going to do for me.

Thank You for bringing me from where I came from and where You’re taking me,

Just wanted to openly share my love for You God,
Hallelujah!

Single Christian Bro
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Oh but only in the season where she will add to what You have called me to do.

P.s. Can she stay young looking way past her years… And let her physic or heart for you never change

P.P.S if You know I will like something else more, scrap what I said – I’ll go with Your plan!

Thanks!

Single Christian Bro
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i’m in a bit of a ranting mood at the moment…

girls wearing a ring on the wedding finger,

if ever there was an annoying bit of foolishness i ever came across this is it!!!

ESPECIALLY considering the fact that they’re single,

yeah yeah yeah i know it (sort of, half way) deters unsaved and street rats from tryna holla at you but the collateral damage is even more painful than having to keep saying no to a guy and walking a little faster!

Of every guy i have ever asked what they think of unmarried girls wearing  rings on their wedding finger, the response has been a landslide in favour of not doing it.

Us as guys if we meet a girl that we like, then see a ring on the finger; WE WILL WRITE YOU OFF!!! PERIOD!!!

I dont even want to imagine the amount of guys that never ever asked the girl out and ended up with someone else even tho they would have been an awesome fit for you! (ladies)

yea yeah yeah, I have also heard the argurment from girls saying “well the guy should ask”

thats like saying to a guy that he should ask EVERY woman he see’s with a wedding ring!

The ring is there to differentiate you accordingly and it is to be respected as a sign that ‘this one is taken’

If a guy DOES ask about you or worse yet still ‘holla’s at you’ with your ring on be very worried…

now lets go back to the question…’ is it a smart idea to wear a wedding ring when your not married, engage, or even at least in a meaningful relationship’

i think not!!!

AND CATEGORICALLY NO… before anyone even says it even if he sees the girl loads of times later WITHOUT THE RING (as this is a game of educated guesses and assumptions) it is safe to assume that ‘you’re just not wearing your rightful wedding ring that day!!!’ (maybe cos you work with chemicals and it could get damaged or you work with people or children which maybe hurt by your jewellery or what ever)

Its just a bad idea,

everyone please copy this article to your facebooks, blogs or whatever, get the word out there… lets stop this nonsense!

cos i know married women who dont wear their rings all the time, and married women with husbands in the army or working overseas or on cruise boats, so just cos i dont see a man doesnt mean there aint one there!

and yes, that guy you now like might have seen your ring one day and HAS written you off his ‘possible approach’ list

selah, pause calmly think about that!

until next time…

favour and blessings peeps!

Shalom Shalom!

Single Christian Bro

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a few posts ago I spoke of meeting someone I wanted to ‘approach’, well here is what has happened since then…

If you recall, I was in two minds about what to do, not from fear or the usual ‘Christian hesitation’ – I’ve gotta do an article about that one… anywho…

I was in two minds because it wasn’t sitting comfortably in my spirit, I’m in a season where God has called me to do great and mighty things and a relationship actually doesnt fit the season,

I also mentioned that I was going to ‘seek wise counsel’ on the matter and have since spoken to my Pastor about it, it kinda felt like a silly topic to bring up but at the same time I needed to know my decision was a sensible one. When in the whole world of emotions, I dunno bout you but I get all ‘googly’ and actually don’t fully trust my own judgement at times.

I would rather be open and expose myself to a little embarassment than a full on emotional mess in not making sure I chose the right path in the first place.

There’s a proverb that speaks of  ’counting the cost of building a house before beginning’, I had to evaluate the whole situation and then get a second (wiser and un-emotionalised) opinion from trusted people.

So… what does this mean…

well, I still like her… simple

BUT I wont be making any approach just yet, there will be a time and place for it and we shall continue to be friends.

Now, at the point that I do enter a relationship, either with this enchanting young lady or another… I expect all of you to stick with me cos the journey wont be over yet, it will be just another chapter… or better yet another volume in the saga…lol

I will need some of you to help me in my cry for help when she ‘manifests’ as a woman and blesses me with the laying on of lips… and by that I mean she cusses me for doing something… lol

That reminds me I’ve gotta talk about my stance on affection in Christian relationships…

Pray for me guys, I already told God He owes me for this one… I coulda been inviting ya’ll for chicken and wedding cake…lol

until next time…

favour and blessings peeps!

Shalom Shalom!

Single Christian Bro

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I actually have great relationships with girls who haven’t had a father figure in their lives, a strange revelation I know but its quite a serious point.

I realised I had been out with more women who HAVEN’T had a father figure in their lives and noted LOADS of differences in how they related to me and the dynamic of the relationship.

Women who had fathers fell head over heals a lot slower and affection was fractionally less weighty in terms of necessity all the time.

They needed less affirmation and more often than not didn’t begin our early days with making sure I wasn’t cheating or liked any other girls on the side, this includes Christians and non Christians.

I have also noticed girls emotional process doesnt change much when girls get saved too, except for the fact that girls sometimes develop ‘Christianitis’ a common and annoying affliction that brings bouts of nonsense inspired by random comparison and utopian ideals of the kind of man they want and how non of the guys that like them fit the bill… but that’s a whole other article all together!

By the way, men get ‘Christianitis’ too, the symptoms just differ; men start imagining some angelic beauty with the perfect physic (specifically created for them) who is amazing in the kitchen (and we’ll leave everywhere else to imagination). OH yeah, and that they are the DICTATORS in the family and respect is mandatory, not earned. AND she’s just gonna glow in the midst of a crowd and God will say “This is the one my son…” – [yeah right!!!]

It also has other weird strains which I will definitely go into another time, but lets get back to our topic…

Its not an unknown fact that girls look for elements of their fathers in the men they go out with and if he was never present then she often develops a distorted view of men which more often ‘falls’ out of her mouth in sentences like “thats just waht men are like” and “you just cant trust men these days” and other manifestations of THEIR limited experiences mixed with stereotypes and ‘haggard aunties’ additions.

But at the same time human beings learn from experience; either from their own or other peoples, sometimes the study doesnt go far enough to give them a balanced view but that it self is an experience that will teach them a lesson,

I keep digressing…

Most of my ex’s have had no father and that created a somewhat unique collection of baggage in which I noticed a trend and have found myself particularly gifted at managing now, thats all I really wanted to share but its something I’m going to look more into and touch again.

There are single guys reading this and have always wondered why some girls have always been a little more ‘special’ than others and there are guys in relationships who have hit their ‘eureka’ moment as to why their girl acts in a particular why interms ofhow they interact.

There are even girls reading this thinking ‘do I have father issues?’ and I can honestly that ‘the lack of a father HAS affected you to some degree and its about you identifying the areas and not allowing them to make relationships challenging because your own emotional make up is actually working against YOU.

This is just food for thought, some of it is hard to chew but its the hard times in life that bring out the jewels in us

Shalom Shalom!

Single Christian Bro

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Actually on second thoughts their profile gives them more voice, power and influence in the Kingdom of the world to glorify God and lead more souls to Christ so scratch that, that’s a word for someone!

Anywho,
Just watched the movie Ray and was actually surprised as to how many of his hits I knew!

What really struck me was the fact that his wife knew so many of his misdemeanours; heroin, cheating and disregard for her words of concern, but stuck with him and really tried to do the best by him.

The two supporting actresses; Regina King and Kerry Washington actually stopped being attractive because of their physical beauty but in their heart to stand by Ray (well ‘Margie’ – Regina King – actually left but not after offering her heart and commitment on a plate, see film for full story… And not a bootleg or online version- buy legit! Anywho…).

What really made Kerry Washington (who play Ray’s wife ‘Bee’) was her long standing and long suffering commitment and decision, even to try and minister to her wayward husband.

This made me think; do women, or should I say girls of this day… And I’m talking about Christians here… Still nurture these qualities within themselves, have they determined and ingrained it into their mindsets that, your husbands may have some ridiculously rough edges BUT nevertheless you will stand by him!
They were married for well over 30 years, and for at least 20 years Ray was on Heroin! And cheating! (I don’t know how many years he was cheating tho) but what this brought to mind was…

Who will I walk the rest of my days on earth with?

Will they stand by me even if my rough edges bring you heartache for two decades?

Will I get some of what I call ‘Love from the old skool’ when commitment was unquestionable and divorce didn’t exist! Only death did them part! (Not murder as I heard one preacher quip… Lol).

I so look forward to ‘giving my life like Christ did for the church’ I look forward to the challenge of being the best possible husband to the wife of my youth… And being FULLY satisfied with the 80 and loving the 20 (google 80/20 rule if you confused by this point lol).

And some of you reading this might be asking ME the same questions from a woman’s perspective but I wouldn’t be so bold as to have these expectations without ‘counting the cost’ and preparing myself to do the same!

I have learnt that God expects me to fully love my wife at the 100% mark regardless of how she treats me… (Yeah I know right!) But God said it so firstly its more than possible and I am 100% more than able!

I feel like I’m just waffling now but all I really wanted to point out that even as beautiful as the women are what added to their beauty in gigantic amounts which even overshadowed their physical beauty was the heart of commitment and adoration for their husband.

These are good natures to develop in ones self

Shalom shalom!

Single Christian Bro
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I will update you shortly on what has gone on,

Please allow me some of your patience

God bless

I can’t disclose the vision cos it would tell you who I am but I can say that part of the assignment requires my being available fully for HIS cause for two years.

This is where I have a dilema;

I can choose to enter this relationship or I can pursue this vision!

The requirement of attention, energy and commitment- even in the locale of what I need to do for either clash, time wise, commitment wise and ‘mind space’ wise.

My preference will always be the kingdom of God and what my Father requires from me but I can’t help but seeking God on a possible way of making it work.

[The word of the Lord says; "(God speaking) reason with me"]

I see her at church weekly and guys you will not believe how beautiful she is to me!

She is my friend so I already most of what I don’t like about her and what will and does annoy me, but that’s overshadowed by the good.

I just want excuses to stair at her, and to make matters worse; she always manages to sit in the line of my sight.

To be completely honest I HAVE chosen,
And I’m afraid it isn’t her… Actually I’m not afraid (God hasn’t given me a spirit of fear… Anywho)

Its always going to be the Kingdom of God,

I gotta talk to my Pastors about this one for some wise counsel

She wants to talk to me about something later… I wonder what it is?

Will keep you up to date

Hope you’re blessed

Here’s the situation;

Its suddenly hit me that I ‘really like this girl’ BUT she’s not ticked all the boxes I wanted ticked, but I find her mesmerising!

Let’s just get this straight from the beginning;

If you don’t love God to a point that He consumes almost your every thought to the degree in which it affects your life, actions, speech and I have seen you fight yourself because ‘what you FEEL to do contradicts the word of God AND you still chose God’s way’ – even though nobody will see but God!

- NON STARTER!!!

AND

If we ain’t friends…

NON STARTER!

Everything about her is gorgeous!
Her heart, her mind and how we click is just gorgeous!

She’s one of my good friends (I would never consider anyone who WASN’T my friend by the way).

The strangest thing is happening to me, when it comes to everyone else, I can advise them on ‘game’ and male/female psyche and deliver with clarity, when it comes to hooking myself up I feel like I’m falling apart! – I think I like her a lot!

But its a very sudden revelation to me, OK, I have been fighting the idea of me and her for weeks and have been winning but I think I just lost!

I feel like hitch! OMG I hope I don’t kick her in the head!!! (Must see film to get the joke).

I have run out of reasons why it shouldn’t happen or won’t work.

One of my close friends who is as sharp as I am when it comes to matters of the heart and this whole relationship thing said that she likes me but I’m still a little stuck as to what to do next,

Let’s get this straight from the get go;

I have prayed about it, I am at peace about it and about her

Sooo…

I guess I’ll have to talk to her (in that I mean place myself in the arena of vulnerability and let her know how much she means to me)… Maybe even ask her out…